In times of Covid 19 you may be experiencing overpowering emotions. This could be sudden anger, frustration or sudden ups and downs. Welcome to the world of ‘you’re out of your comfort zone’ for your body and mind.
YOU GOT THIS and you know you have. Tapping into resilience you had to use in the past and pulling it into the now can be a great tool to find your rock. Using healthy resiliency to adapt, be creative, nurture relationships can be so rewarding. However, being aware of historic resilience to be strong, battle on and make every thing perfect might have been useful for lock down 1 but now in lock down 2 it may just exhaust you. The children are still at school, many businesses are still open and online presence is set up.
There is nothing more reassuring when life throws a stormy sea in your direction to have a safe rock to stand on, be your foundation in life and cultivate healthy resiliency. This rock makes you feel safe, comforted and belongs to you. Everyone is different so this rock for some may be a friendship, a place a ritual or an activity.
To help you locate your rock try this tool. When I give you the following questions quickly place your hand either on your head, heart or stomach. Observe where you put it.
Where do you feel happy?
Where do you feel sad?
Where do you feel confused?
Where do you feel safe?
Let’s focus a minute on that last question and where your hand landed? If it’s your heart you may feel connecting to love in some way is your rock in life. Your stomach may want to do an activity, a sport or with your head organising something or doing a little ritual that you love to do like cooking a meal.
FIND YOUR ROCK is personal to you. I know mine has always been the morning where I set a bowl of fresh fruit cut up with granola and yoghurt and then fresh ground coffee in front of me. I have never missed this ritual and I have it the same time every day especially through lock down. I realised I was doing this to keep the world feeling normal. Through lock down 1 organising my day was my ROCK. After lock down 2 was announced my brother phoned to say it looks like Christmas is cancelled and they have decided not to come as they were worried they would be disappointed at the last minute. I knew they were looking for their rock, their place of feeling safe, THE HOME. And do you know what; that’s not a bad place to want to be for Christmas. This was their rock, their ritual; let’s keep Christmas at home where we know we will have certainty, love and security.
Anxiety sits in our right brain where our feelings, emotions and creativity are so let’s not ignore this. Where do you feel safe, what is your rock in stormy weather? Let’s stop focusing on what we should do and focus on what we want to do. It’s your ROCK not mine and it belongs to you. I would love to know what your ROCK is and often we feel we should think the same as everyone else and then get completely surprised when so many people have such different opinions.
by Katy Banner at Just Be Human a fully trained resilience practitioner, relational counsellor and psychotherapist and a registered member of the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (BACP)